|Houses 2 families of Chickadees (1 on each side)|
I just haven’t been motivated to blog lately. I have been in some roller coaster moods lately. I started out this year rather melancholy and I can’t seem to shake it. Just when I think I’m coming around the bend and seeing some light again… BAM. Maybe I’ve just been acting like I’m coming around, who knows. I haven’t done any art in a while other than paint this bird house for my husband. It’s not exactly Monet, more like paint by numbers. He’s a woodworker and made this from scratch for his mother for Christmas. He made two and this is the second one for a friend of his.
I had this grand plan of getting up there in my studio and painting and drawing and creating, after I got it in order that is. Yep, that hasn’t happened. The hubz has gone on this new shift and I hate it. It is week two for thirds and I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to this. I sit here in my robe for hours and don’t accomplish much. I did start to go through a box of things of my mothers (that are smack dab right in the middle of said studio) and ran across a little ceramic perfume sprayer. Shalimar was my mom’s signature scent and I knew better than to do what I did, but I couldn’t stop myself. I knew what the pretty little container held. Smell, for me, is a powerful thing. I smelled it anyway and WhamOO! Instantly I was flung into another universe of time and memories flashed before me and I actually cried out loud in pain and wept and wept that night. It feels like it’s all new again and I am disbelief that she is gone even though the second Christmas has gone by without her. I have never looked up the 7 stages of grief, even though I’ve meant to, I wonder if I’ve gone through them all yet?
Enough. I’m really trying not to wallow here. I feel like that new Speaker of the House John Boehner. I feel so sorry for that man. I totally understand his emotional candor. I too, where my heart on my sleeve and can cry at what seems like the most ridiculous things but I think what it comes down to is associations. I’m an empathizer for sure. I associate everything with everything. You know that 6 degrees thing? It seems like my mantra… haha Not really, but you get the idea. One thing or thought leads to another.