All the presents have been opened and the Christmas ham has been mostly eaten… it’s the day after Christmas and I wanted to share some Christmas thoughts I’ve been having.
Thoughts about family and time and life in general, so not just Christmas thoughts but thoughts that seem to weigh heavier around Christmas time.
This year, we’ve got a new kitten again… Loki. So, I planned for a cat proof tree. All plastic or non-breakable ornaments. While it’s not the prettiest tree, it has survived.
Asher helped me decorate it and my control tendencies were trying to come out. He grows impatient so he was hanging ornaments faster than I could hand them to him, unfortunately he was grouping them all together, sometimes two or more to a branch! Ha ha… I had to remind myself that it won’t be that long and he’ll be out in his own life and not be around to help decorate or want to.
Time goes so fast. I think about how it just seemed like it was last Christmas and yet another year whizzed by. When he came home from school a few weeks ago, he was so excited to see the boxes down from the attic. A lot of the times we go somewhere for Christmas and one year I didn’t even bother to put up a tree. I regretted that. I spend what seems like a lot of time wondering if I’m creating good memories for him.
Every year it seems there are less family filling the chairs. Holidays are hard when there are so many family members not around any longer. But I still try to create a tradition for my son.
His holiday memories will be different than mine were as a child. My family always celebrated, laughed, ate and opened our presents on Christmas Eve with my mom’s side of the family (lots of people compared to now). Then Christmas day we went to my grandma and grandpa’s house to eat and open presents with my dad’s side (less people but still fun). For him, Christmas Eve hasn’t really been much. Mom has been gone now for 8 years and while we still celebrate with what’s left of that side of the family, it just isn’t the same.
This year, the three of us just watched movies and then Christmas Day my dad and Daryl’s mother along with her friend came over and we had just the six of us. We ate a delicious meal together, enjoyed a warm fire and opened presents. These will be Asher’s memories and seem uneventful to me compared to mine. I just never thought about these sort of things when I was younger. I just went along with the plan. Now I am the one left to come up with a plan and I’m not the best.
That’s what happens though. Especially when two only children have an only child. I often wish I had Asher earlier in my life and had more children as well. It’s hard to be the only child. Loneliness is probably the hardest. While it makes the three of us pretty close, he is lonely for other kids. The fact that we live way out in the country with no neighbors hasn’t made it any easier.
He seemed happy though and I guess that’s the main thing. I’m glad for that. Often time goes so fast, or maybe I fail to plan correctly, that the event that I want to be fun for him has come and past before I know it. Here he is eleven years old and he’s had eleven Christmas’s already. I didn’t think to get any good photos, we haven’t made Christmas cookies together and no telling what else I’ve forgotten that I wanted to do.
I wish time would slow down! Does anyone else feel like they’re still stuck back in July? I do! Here we’re looking down 2018’s neck. What the heck?!
Do you have any traditions that you want to share with me that maybe I can start to adopt to be fun for Asher to create good memories?
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