Another Thanksgiving has rolled around and passed by. It brought with it thoughts of family get-togethers of times gone by. More and more, I think of how life used to be with a bit of melancholy.
Maybe that’s how it goes as you get older. Family members that were once a mainstay, now gone. It feels the importance of such gatherings have waned. Families split off and do their own thing.
That leaves me feeling… I don’t know how to describe it… but a bit sad would be one of the feelings. Often holidays like this causes me to feel like something is missing. It’s probably the missing family members but also that innocence of being a kid and not thinking about the people around you not being there.
Gone are the days of waking up excited with the promise of a full house. To smelling Thanksgiving dinner being cooked up in Mom’s kitchen or Grandmas’ house. Warmth from the oven making it hotter than it should be, the clinking of pots and pans and my job of setting the table.
It’s all on me now and for a much smaller crowd. In fact, it’s hardly a crowd. This year was even more non-traditional. I’ve been getting ready for my exhibit that starts this Sunday so much so that I’ve not got my house in order enough to host Thanksgiving. So we went out to eat at Bob Evans.
It was okay, I got a turkey dinner. Nothing like having a big spread at home with lots of leftovers. But we did get together, my little family which consists of me, my son, husband and dad. That’s the important part. My mother-in-law and her new husband stayed in Kentucky with her family.
Now it’s over. But the guilt isn’t gone. I feel guilty for not having it at my house anyway. Worried that I’m not giving my son the same warm memories that I have. He acts like he doesn’t care and is fine with it. Of course, he doesn’t know what he’s missing because he’s never really had it.
If there’s one thing in life that I might regret, it may just be that I had only one child. I am an only child and so is my husband, but we both had lots of cousins growing up. Asher doesn’t have that luxury. He has cousins, second cousins I guess, but we never really gather for Thanksgiving and they’ve never gotten close.
At any rate, that can’t be changed now. All I can hope for is that someday he will have a larger family and I’ll be a grandma to many. *sigh*
I am thankful for my family though even as small as it is as I know some people have no family. I’m also thankful for my memories that will forever be mine.
This post took a rather gloomy turn, sorry about that. Every once and while it feels good to get it out.
I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving with your family and friends.
Love overflows and joy never ends in a home that is blessed with family and friends. ~Unknown
What are your memories of Thanksgiving?
⬅︎ Preparing for Christmas Exhibit at Cook Mansion
Learn more about me on the ‘About’ page
under the additional links menu. I’m an artist – a painter mostly and
an avid gardener. I paint a variety of subjects including birds, koi
fish, my gardens, ponds and flowers as well as anything having to do
with nature especially trees and tropical scenes. I
also enjoy painting abstracts and have started created more and more of
them. My most favorite thing to try to achieve in my painting is is
mystery and telling mystical stories.
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Jamie you described how I feel about the holidays in general. I got to do the Thanksgiving thing this year for the first time in a long time. I know your regret. Don’t worry about putting pressure on yourself. You have changed so much with your art business since we first met. This is intriguing! You are a plugger painter and as long as you enjoy what you do for yourself first everything is gonna be great! Can’t wait to see you at the Cook Mansion!
Hi Rhonda, I know my feelings are not only my own. It’s comforting to know I have friends like you cheering me on in life and my art business. Thank you so much, your words really mean a lot to me. I look forward to seeing you again at Cook!
I know how you feel. We had a group that was a bit larger – both sons and their partners, so 6 of us. Both Judy and I have small families and there are not many relatives in the extended family, and unfortunately we are alienated from some of those. Sometimes we have to share our son with his new in-laws. But happily, we are trying to make a new extended family with those in-laws. We will go to Phoenix this year to have Christmas/Hanukkah with them.
It’s not a fun part of the holidays, is it? This kind of talk I mean. So many of us have these sorts of realities and it’s easy for me to feel oh I don’t know, disappointed I guess compared with the expectations I dream up in my head. Even just how it’s shoved down our throats with commercials all season showing large happy families gathering when in reality I know that’s fabricated and many families simply don’t get along. I’ve been thinking ahead to the sharing part. I don’t think I’m going to like it, ha ha. However if doing the combining thing would work, I’d be down for that. You and Judy are smart by being open to that. I’ll just have to hope my son has a partner whose family we like! Phoenix sounds like a fun place to try for Christmas! I hope it turns out great.
Actually these in-laws seem very eager to create a new extended family that includes all of us, and Daniel and Beckee are happy to help pull everyone together. (They’ve been hosting some of the Jewish holidays at their apartment). So that’s good. I just read my earlier comment and it’s odd that I referred to my family as small. Actually I have one brother I’m close to but he lives in Minneapolis, one sister I don’t speak to, and one brother who is deceased. On my father’s side there is a sizable extended family but we are pretty much alienated from all of them – something that started in my parents’ generation. On my mother’s side there are a bunch of relatives scattered all over the West Coast and Mountain States. I’ve had no contact with any of them in decades. Goes to show when you take a close look, a lot of families are not always what they’re cracked up to be. Judy has a big extended family on her father’s side, they used to have a big family reunion in South Dakota ever five years of so. But even that clan has been drifting apart, I think, as the elders pass.
Wow you do have a quite large family. You’re so right about family not all its cracked up to be. I think it’s wonderful that the “new” family is eager to expand, I hope I’ll encounter that sort of thing too, although I cannot imagine it’s really common but maybe I’m wrong. I guess it really depends on how well everyone gets along. I know what you mean about families being scattered and not getting together like they used to and it was always the older generation that encouraged reunions for my family as well. Sadly, they are mostly passed or too old and tired to set it up without the help of many hands. I think family becomes more important to a person as the age generally. It could also go the other way and you’re old enough to know you don’t have to deal with all the drama and BS!
Awesome post friend, your work is nice,
Here is a new friend, Stay connected always. +1 Following
Thank you so much! I can always use a new friend, welcome! I’m so glad to have you.