Another Thanksgiving has rolled around and passed by. It brought with it thoughts of family get-togethers of times gone by. More and more, I think of how life used to be with a bit of melancholy.
Maybe that’s how it goes as you get older. Family members that were once a mainstay, now gone. It feels the importance of such gatherings have waned. Families split off and do their own thing.
That leaves me feeling… I don’t know how to describe it… but a bit sad would be one of the feelings. Often holidays like this causes me to feel like something is missing. It’s probably the missing family members but also that innocence of being a kid and not thinking about the people around you not being there.
Gone are the days of waking up excited with the promise of a full house. To smelling Thanksgiving dinner being cooked up in Mom’s kitchen or Grandmas’ house. Warmth from the oven making it hotter than it should be, the clinking of pots and pans and my job of setting the table.
It’s all on me now and for a much smaller crowd. In fact, it’s hardly a crowd. This year was even more non-traditional. I’ve been getting ready for my exhibit that starts this Sunday so much so that I’ve not got my house in order enough to host Thanksgiving. So we went out to eat at Bob Evans.
It was okay, I got a turkey dinner. Nothing like having a big spread at home with lots of leftovers. But we did get together, my little family which consists of me, my son, husband and dad. That’s the important part. My mother-in-law and her new husband stayed in Kentucky with her family.
Now it’s over. But the guilt isn’t gone. I feel guilty for not having it at my house anyway. Worried that I’m not giving my son the same warm memories that I have. He acts like he doesn’t care and is fine with it. Of course, he doesn’t know what he’s missing because he’s never really had it.
If there’s one thing in life that I might regret, it may just be that I had only one child. I am an only child and so is my husband, but we both had lots of cousins growing up. Asher doesn’t have that luxury. He has cousins, second cousins I guess, but we never really gather for Thanksgiving and they’ve never gotten close.
At any rate, that can’t be changed now. All I can hope for is that someday he will have a larger family and I’ll be a grandma to many. *sigh*
I am thankful for my family though even as small as it is as I know some people have no family. I’m also thankful for my memories that will forever be mine.
This post took a rather gloomy turn, sorry about that. Every once and while it feels good to get it out.
I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving with your family and friends.
Love overflows and joy never ends in a home that is blessed with family and friends. ~Unknown
What are your memories of Thanksgiving?
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under the additional links menu. I’m an artist – a painter mostly and
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fish, my gardens, ponds and flowers as well as anything having to do
with nature especially trees and tropical scenes. I
also enjoy painting abstracts and have started created more and more of
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