|This is me going outta my mind|
Today is not a proud day for me. One day I actually thought I would be this cool mom for my kid and like all the fun things that I thought was great when I was a kid and celebrate that fun with him. But today I think I found out that I am not going to be that cool mom. I am going to be the mom that loses it. I may be turning out to be that mom that is barely keeping it together with nothing but chocolate, a lock on the bathroom door and knowing I’ve got a few Xanex in a little sandwich bag from a friend in my bedroom. I may be the mom that my son will have to visit in a little rubber room. Let me tell you about my day today starting with last night.
It started last night when I got the call that there would be no school because of the winter storm that came through on Sunday. Great. I never thought in all my life that No school would be a real bummer but I have reached that day. I have to admit that the wee bit of time that I get to myself 3 times a week has been a saving grace from the rubber room. We were out yesterday in the mess and getting this and that and I told Asher that we would put the Christmas tree up when we got home if Daddy would help get the boxes out of the attic. He was elated. It was a bit treacherous and it wasn’t ten minutes after we got home that Daryl got a call from a buddy that he was off the road and needed help. So I had to schlep that crap down from the attic myself. I start getting the tree up and fluffed up and he’s dying to help. Nothing he can really do that doesn’t require me to re-do. Then the lights, 2 hours later he’s flopping around, getting into stuff and generally getting on my last nerve because he’s tired and hungry and so am I. I had to stop to make a late sandwich for us and then bath and bed for him and shower for me and collapsing on the couch about 11:30 pm. The husband still not home and conveniently missed all the excitement.
So today after picking up the tree off the floor for the umpteenth time I yelled (at the TOP of my lungs) “THAT’S IT! We are NOT putting ornaments on the tree this year!!!” I may even end up taking the thing down. I’m so aggravated between Asher messing around with the lights and the kittens climbing in it and Asher putting the kittens in the tree… it already is a mushed up mess. The kittens have even pulled the plugs out of the outlets! I’m surprised they haven’t been shocked yet. It’s a mess. Now Asher is following me around everywhere asking when are we going to decorate the tree and then screaming “you don’t love me anymore!” when I tell him we’re not. Sing with me… “you’re a mean one… Mr. Grinch”. Now that I’ve calmed down a tiny bit, I’m having major first course of Mommy Guilt with a side of crow eating because I’m thinking of making ornaments this year out of construction paper and glitter and just letting Asher go wild. If the cats tear ’em up, so be it.
I haven’t even mentioned all the cat poop I’ve cleaned up today and the pile of vomit under a table in the basement, a dog going in and out of the house with snowy muddy paws and cleaning up after her. Oh and Asher and the kittens causing mayhem with all the boxes laying out with Christmas stuff in them that I’ll have to schlep back up to the attic. I’ve already threatened to take the tree down after the last You don’t love me episode and told him “I’m taking the tree down if I pull the cats outta here one more time and Santa won’t come here if we don’t have a tree!” He just scowls, and so do I. It’s a battle of wills in this house and I think I’m losing my mind. Do they still make Calgon? The rubber room is sounding better and better.