Reconnecting. I’m getting to it.
Today, I was planning on writing about how I got my new organic abstract paintings all listed in the shop. However, something inside beckoned for me to go and check up on a long time friend first. Artist, fellow gardener and blogger, Anne Butera.
I’m so glad I did. Visiting Anne Butera’s website and blog was just what I’ve been needing for a while and didn’t even know it. Her last blog post has not only changed my outlook on the way I want to continue writing my own blog but it has influenced how I view social media as well. She has an uncanny way of making me think differently about things.
Anne recently closed her Instagram account. I knew she had toyed with the idea earlier this year but had returned. But you know how social media is… Instagram especially. Your posts are lost so quickly and if you’ve followed very many people their posts are fleeting, if shown to you at all. This second time of quitting Instagram for her though has stuck.
But I wouldn’t have known this if I hadn’t had the intuition to visit her blog today. For me, her writing was about reconnecting with what felt true and right for her. That lead me to thinking about what is it I really want to say. What is true and right for me?
I have to be honest, the last couple of years my blog has been rather superficial. Oh sure, there’s been a few posts when the real and raw makes itself out of me. However, ever since leaving Blogger years ago the sad truth is my blog has sunk. At least in the form of a two way conversation goes I mean.
Comments are rare to receive. I know that shouldn’t dictate how or if I continue to share and it doesn’t, really. Nonetheless, it does sometimes make me sad. Does anyone actually read what I’m writing? Which leads me to wonder, am I writing anything that is of value or even thought provoking enough for someone to bother to take the time to write a few of their thoughts about my subject? Am I actually connecting with anyone? That’s the biggest question I think.
November day off my deck.
Because it’s all about connection isn’t it? Or reconnecting even, right? In today’s society, I’ve noticed I’m not connected with as many people in a meaningful way like I used to be before social media reared its ugly head. Of course I “see” more people everyday than I did ten years ago. I see their posts on Facebook (more often than Instagram) but usually they’re not a true, meaningful connection.
They might re-share a joke or share a recipe or sadly an obituary and in the worse case scenario political stuff, ick ha ha. Yet, I’m just as guilty, sharing jokes like mad. Things that make me chuckle or that I find important. Sadly, we never scratch the surface of actual feelings that go along with the re-shares. I find that I mindlessly scroll. That’s exactly what the app is programmed to do. Make you mindlessly scroll to keep you on the app to sell more advertising.
Every once in a while I find a heart felt post but most people are too busy to bother to write a sincere reply. Plus, Facebook makes it way too easy to just click a heart or a care button instead of really offering friendship and support. In a second or two I find myself scrolling on to the next without much thought. I feel social media has made us all less caring even as it has “connected” us by making us “friends”. So many empty relationships it feels like, and that feels wrong.
When’s the last time I picked up the phone and spoke with a friend or even family member? Other than a quick yes or no conversation, not often enough. I used to hate texting but now, I’ve become accustomed to the impersonal-ness of it. If I don’t feel like talking, I just text. It’s gotten too easy to look like I care without having to do the heavy lifting. I don’t like it anymore.
The view into greenhouse from my art studio
It seems lately, I see a lot of people around my age posting about the good ol’ days. The times of the 1970’s and 1980′ when life was easier, less complicated. I admit, I’m right there with them. It was time when I was a kid and growing up.
If I wanted to play with a friend, I had to walk to their house, knock on their door and ask if they could play. Or when older, I had to pick up the phone off the wall and dial the number in from memory and make plans to meet. Sometimes, I just drove to their house to see if they were home. Relationships seemed to have so much more meaning then. We legitimately interacted with one another.
Life has changed now. Social media and technology isn’t all bad. It’s lead to some long lasting friendships like the one with my friend Anne that I would’ve never had without this blogging world. But I feel social media like Facebook and Instagram has become an addiction. An addiction for temporary feelings of happiness and connection when really it’s fostering shallow, impersonal relationships.
Reconnecting with people takes effort. Sometimes I feel there’s not enough hours in the day to try and bother. But really, at the end of the day my real connections are what bring me the most joy. Not empty likes and shares.
So am I going to quit social media? No. But I am going to promote deeper relationships through the ways I know how. Blogging and phone conversations… meeting in person when possible. How is it that in a world that is so connected, we can be so lonely and disconnected?
I hope you’ll join me. How you ask? Start reading blogs again and comment with your thoughts even if they might differ with the author. Start writing your own blog. Share with the world what makes you you. Make that deeper connection. Or make that reconnecting phone call with your loved one or friend. We have to make the effort. Our emotional lives depend on it.
⬅︎ New Organic Paintings / 2022 Art Calendar ➡
Learn more about me on the ‘About’ page under the additional links menu. I’m an artist – a painter mostly and an avid gardener. I paint a variety of subjects including birds, koi fish, my gardens, ponds and flowers as well as anything having to do with nature especially trees and tropical scenes. I also enjoy painting abstracts and have started created more and more of them. My most favorite thing to try to achieve in my painting is is mystery and telling mystical stories.
If you would like to keep up with what I’m doing, I have a newsletter e-mailed about once a month that gives you special status for invitations, birthday greeting and more. I’d love for you to add your email to my Friends and Collectors list!
I’m so thankful for Marco Polo. 😉 It’s a little more personal than social media. I agree with all that you wrote. Much love and I’m so glad we’re friends! 💗
Oh Lori, Marco Polo has changed our lives, hasn’t it?! I’m so glad we’re friends, too.
What a beautiful post, Jaime! (And thanks for the shout out!).
So much here to think about. One thing that came up while I was reading was to add to your list of what’s been lost from the “good old days” — letter writing. I used to write so many letters. When I went to college my friends and I wrote each other letters all the time. I loved going to the mail room to pick up my letters and then sitting down to write back.
Anyway, it sounds like you’re feeling re-energized and inspired to find joy in your blog again and that makes me so happy!
Take care, my friend, and keep shining your light.
Sending hugs and love.
Letters! Yes! I still have a box of letters from friends and family from way back. And what a treat it is nowadays to receive a hand written letter, so I’m with you there.
Yes, I am re-energized and craving more authentic connections through my blog. Thanks to your last post Anne!
Thank you so much for your friendship and encouragement. With your outlook on life, you’ve always been such an inspiration.
Be seeing you soon on your blog.
Originally I started my blog because I hadn’t written in two years due to health reasons and I thought a blog would allow me to work my way back to words in little sips. My goal was to write about writing. The blog plodded along, stilted and limping. As words came back, I started unconsciously allowing more of myself onto the page. When I started sharing personal stories, people pulled their chairs up closer. I also paid attention to how often I posted. I’ve never been interested in numbers – followers, likes, etc. But if I posted more often than once a week, engagement dropped off. If I posted every few months, the same thing happened. If I posted roughly every two weeks, or at least once a month, people hung around. And when I had to, one day, post about an awful loss, the blog blew up. I was getting two hundred comments a day. That one post, raw and grieving, somehow slipped out into the internet, was seen, and resonated with a lot of people. What has kept me coming back here (besides the fact that someday we’re going to meet and realize we’re best friends) are those posts when you are right there on the page. Talking about frustration with a piece you’re working on, or how that art came to be, or trees falling on your house. Your artwork is beautiful, but for the blog, it’s when you let us in to how your work exists within you, what makes your soul sing. It’s the personal connection. Oh, and I love the scary stories! I enjoy reading about the art shows and the process of setting up, the stress and tension of getting ready for one, because I can identify. But when you let us in your heart, so to speak, all your art comes to life. You have the webpage, I think, for business, but the blog for you.
Oh thank you for this Lisa, I just love it. I especially love your phrase “…people pulled their chairs in closer”.
I know I’m always sitting right across from you as you tell your stories, virtually. You have a gift for drawing people close. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat reading your blog and just wept. Much like you, I wear my heart on my sleeve and my feelings can’t help but just pour out.
I can’t wait for that day when you can sit in my studio and tell your stories in person and I paint while I listen, totally enthralled. I’m as sure as you that we will be best friends that will have more to catch up on and share with each other than time would ever allow.
Such wise words you’ve shared here. You always make me think and I love that. I’m not sure how I even came upon your blog, but your friendship and clarity makes me so grateful I did.
Love your thoughts on this blog Jaime. It seems like as we get older, the more we miss parts of the “good ole days” As you addressed we miss that connection with people, even loved ones, who would rather text than talk. I miss the voices, the voice influx of those I am talking to. Texting only goes so far, we don’t receive the change in pitch to determine the exact meaning behind the remark. I too enjoy Marco Polo with the video that we are able to share our thoughts and ideas with one another. I count you as a personal friend and cherish our friendship. Keep Blogging!
You’re so right Vicki! The sound of a friend’s voice and expression on their face trumps any amount of texts we can share. It really is all about the connections we make in life that count. I’m so glad we’re in each other’s lives, too. I don’t know what I’d do without you and Lori. You’ve become family.
Very honest and thoughtful post.
I personally never got Instagram account because I don’t like using phone too much, in fact, I cannot see what’s on that small screen and later when we could post from computer also, I kind of didn’t feel I want more accounts. The problem is they aren’t really social media any longer since each one of them is trying to be a sale platform.
The engagement raking brings down lots of numbers and, sadly, bad and poor content can get the top rank, but good and unique content goes unnoticed frequently. I never add my like to thousands of likes, but to posts which I appreciate and which have only a few likes.
I’ve had my 2 blogs since 2011 or maybe 2010, the art blog. The life school is just for other things I do. There were people who blogged themselves to craziness, regardless of anything they were posting. That was quantity without any quality.
You’re right that over years we get to know fellow bloggers and we are pretty much friends. I’ve noticed recently that all old-timers or people who started blogging around 2010 or some time before, are posting not that frequently. We should have more time, but, in fact, we do have less of it because it’s exactly so: everything is complicated.
By 80-s I was adult, my daughter was born in 1979. I personally liked time period around 2000-2006 very much.
The artificial and virtual things are responsible for derailing many of us. The online person and the real person sometimes won’t seem to be even distant relatives in some cases.
You cannot actually publish in hopes that somebody will notice and become thrilled. Internet opened the doors for everyone who wants to be there, and that’s a fact that art has ended being the unique aspect of creativity. It was easy to sell art even 10 years ago.
Let’s hope the true, genuine and content-rich are appreciated again. For that, we have to also share the things which are meaningful.
Inese, thank you for your heartfelt response. I agree with so much you mention here. Oh my goodness, yes the sales platforms instead of social platforms have gotten out of hand. The years between 2000-2006 were mingling, it seems to me, with real life and the just beginning virtual life. Life is so much more complicated nowadays. Sadly, I’ve found I’ve brought a lot of that on myself. I also agree that art was much easier to sell 10+ years ago. My dad, an artist himself, used to do the outdoor art festivals and fancier inside art shows. It also seemed they art was appreciated a bit more then, perhaps because it was harder to find. At least the people you were showing your work to had an interest in art – it might not have been your art they were interested in but they were at those shows to find artwork for their collections and wall. Now when I attend those types of shows, I’m saddened to find so many people treating it as a social gathering. Something to do as they walk the dog or push the stroller… we’re entertainment to them. People meet their friends and stand in front of our booths blocking the entrance without a care. I do believe we are headed to another phase of social media and social life. Yes, let’s hope true and content-rich will be not only appreciated but celebrated.