I’m sure you’ve all had moments… aha moments as Oprah call them. Last night I had a rather aha moment at about 2 in the morning. I had managed to sit and watch the last two episodes of the season finally for Work of Art. I’ve watched, intrigued the entire season and haven’t understood a lot of the reasoning behind the judges comments and verdict. Then it came to me as I sat teary eyed and watched as Perigrin was so obviously moved by her own piece and then moved again as others “got it”. Also as Abdi (my favorite from the start) presented an emotionally intense piece that I fully related to (a baptism). One or two of the judges in the end show finally started to make sense. They explained it a little more to my understanding at least by the end of the season. I usually have no problem admitting I’m wrong or no good at something, but this is a little embarrassing. I guess because I all these years, going way back to crayons on the walls… I’ve always felt in my heart I was to create stuff and try to be good at it. Even as now, I am 40 years of age and probably done with half of my life… and I’ve up until last night thought I was to try to do my best at creating something… technically. I’ve apparently missed the bus all these years because I think I now get it. It’s not how good an artist you are… like how well I can draw say an apple and make the viewer see a great drawing of an apple. It’s how I can reach down in my soul and pull out something that can make the viewer feel something. Something that I felt as I created it. Wow.

I’ve always felt like I was the artist outside looking in at the better artists. Maybe that is why I have such a blank canvass syndrome. You know, when I have a blank page in front of me and I can’t for the life of me think of a single thing to draw. That I can’t draw it that well so I don’t even attempt it. I need to draw from within. I’ve just learned that and I hope that I can learn to do that.

How do you “draw” from within?

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